Ghosts of the Past
by LadyBauer
Summary: Samantha gets the shock of her life as her mother visits town with some news. Some SamJack romance as well as the main plot. New chapter up finally! Man, I don't know how Danielle Steele does it! Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or the show or any rights or anything!**

**The idea from this story came from the episode where Jack interacts with his father. Shadows, I think it's called, from season 2?**

**It got me thinking that Samantha's father coming back could be a huge storyline. Naturally there's a little bit of a Jack/Samantha eternal love subplot!**

**  
Rating is low, only some mild bad language but there will be a love scene in a later chapter so don't say I didn't warn you!**

Jack looked out over the empty bullpen and sighed. It was the middle of the afternoon and everyone was out in the field. He had to stay and wait for an important fax from the sheriff's department from some god forsaken town that he'd forgotten the name of. His phone rang and he picked it up in annoyance.

"Malone."

"Sir, this is Agent James. We have a lady down here looking for Agent Spade."

He sighed realising he'd have to get up. "Send her on up; I'll meet her at the elevator."

Jack got up and stretched. As he walked to the doors and waited his mind wandered as to who it might be. Samantha had been kind of distant lately. He'd understood from Vivian that she and Martin had split up and he hadn't said anything to her about it. To own up to the truth he was afraid that he'd burst into song at the fact that she was now single again. Not that he held out much hope of ever being with her again after what he'd put her through.

The doors opened to reveal a woman he'd guessed was in her fifties. She was petite and blonde with familiar looking eyes. As he took her hand he realised who she was.

"I'm Jack Malone; you must be Samantha's mother."

She smiled, a little taken aback that he would know that just by looking at her.

"Yes, that's right. Amanda Spade. May I ask how you knew I was her mother?"

He smiled as he led the way to his office. By her friendly demeanour Jack guessed that Samantha hadn't told her about them.

"Well you bear a certain resemblance to her, if you don't mind me saying so."

He motioned for her to sit down on the sofa, waiting for her to sit before he did.

"Well, I'm glad someone thinks she looks like me."

"Can I get you anything, coffee, tea?"

"No I'm fine thank you. The agent in the lobby said she was out on a case?"

"That's right. But I'm expecting her back any minute."

Right on time, the elevator doors opened and Samantha and Danny emerged from the elevator laughing.

He got up.

"Excuse me for a minute; please make yourself comfortable and I'll tell Samantha you're here when she gets back."

She nodded settling back into the sofa and looking around her.

Jack walked towards them and smiled. "What's so funny?"

"Oh tales of Danny's dates as usual. What's up?" Samantha detected something in Jack's face.

Jack motioned for Danny to get lost and Samantha stood with her arms crossed. As soon as Danny was a few feet away Jack said,

"Your mother's here to see you. She's in my office."

Samantha frowned and curiously looked over Jack's shoulder to catch a glimpse of her in the glass. Her mother stood up and watched the interaction between her daughter and her boss with curiosity. Samantha had leaned into him slightly and he had his hand on her elbow.

"What does she want?" Samantha said looking strained.

"Well, being that she's your mother and not mine I didn't really ask." Jack said sarcastically but softly, giving her elbow a squeeze before he let go.

She smiled back at him and sighed. Walking towards his office she shouted distant thanks over her shoulder at him as he walked into the bullpen.

"Mom?"

"Hi sweetheart." She said warmly hugging her daughter tightly.

"What's going on Mom, why didn't you tell me you were in New York?"

They sat down on the sofa and Amanda took her daughter's hand. Samantha stiffened slightly as she knew something big was coming.

"I'm here to see your father."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Samantha frowned and looked away in shock. Shaking her head she said,

"I'm sorry did you just say my father?"

Amanda nodded as Samantha got up and paced around a little with her arms crossed defensively.

As Jack watched her go into full defence mode from the bullpen he knew something huge was in progress.

"I got a call from a nurse from the ER of Mount Sinai to say he'd been admitted the day before yesterday. I got a flight out yesterday morning."

Samantha spun around to face her mother.

"You've seen him! Mom, I can't believe this!" She gestured with her arms in despair.

Amanda got up and moved towards her daughter but Samantha pulled away seething that he'd wormed his way back into her mother's life so easily.

"The truth is Samantha I got a letter from him three months ago."

Samantha shut her eyes again in disbelief.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She said softly.

"I thought you'd be upset."

"Oh, like I'm not upset now?" She sank into the chair opposite Jack's desk heavily. Her mother knelt down in front of her.

"Honey, he didn't tell me he was sick. He didn't say much of anything in the letter. Although God knows I've read it hundreds of times trying to find something else. Mostly he asked after you."

Samantha shook her head. She tried to let go of her mother's hand but she wouldn't release her.

"This man left us without a word twenty years ago and now he's pitching up saying honey I'm home and you don't find that suspicious?"

Samantha thought for a second and then asked, "Who is paying his medical bills Mom?"

It was Amanda's turn to be angry. She jumped up and stood over her daughter.

"You listen to me Samantha Spade, you may almost be thirty but you will not talk to your mother like that. I am not giving your father money nor has he asked me for any."

She sighed and turned away from Samantha who softened and got up, turning her mother around gently into her arms.

"I'm sorry Mom. I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt again."

They pulled apart and Amanda smoothed a strand of hair back into place on her daughter's head.

"I know you're angry at him and on many levels I still am too but he has no one else and whatever he's done, we've shared a life together and I can't walk away from that however much you'd like me to."

Samantha looked down as her mother lifted a card from her purse. Handing it to Samantha she said,

"This is where I'm staying, call me later and we'll talk alright?"

Samantha smiled and nodded.

"Goodbye sweetie."

As she watched her mother leave Samantha sat on the edge of Jack's desk and sighed heavily, desperately trying to hold back the tears as her world crashed down around her.

Seeing her body language, Jack immediately went in to check she was ok.

"Sam?"

Hearing his voice was all she needed to go over the edge. She put her hand to her eyes and began to sob heavily.

Jack felt like he'd been stabbed straight to the heart as the pain of seeing her cry coursed through him. He took her by the shoulders and eased her up into his arms, holding her tightly as she sobbed helplessly.

Vivian saw this unfold and nudged Danny. Martin soon noticed the two of them and they all stood up to see what was happening. It was clear that Samantha was extremely upset but about what?

"What's wrong Sam? Tell me please."

She took deep breaths in order to calm down enough to speak. He stroked her hair gently, comforting her. Pulling back from him she said,

"My dad. My dad is here in New York. She's here to visit my dad. He's in Mount Sinai, I don't know what's wrong with him and I'm not sure that I care."

"Wow, no wonder you're upset. And your mom's ok with this?"

"I don't know what she's thinking, but then I never have."

She sat down again and put her head in her hands.

"I don't know what to do Jack. I don't want to see him, I don't. He made his choice all those years ago and I'm not going to make it easy for him now just because he says he's sick."

Jack tried to soothe her as she shook her head with every word He nodded and sat down opposite her. He reached out for her hand and she took it, holding onto it for dear life. In the midst of her turmoil, Jack was secretly pleased that she was turning to him and leaning on him. He hated to see the woman he loved in so much pain.

"Sam, listen, it's Thursday, we've got things under control here so why don't you go home and take tomorrow off. Spend some time with your mom and sort things out."

He raised his eyebrows at her and she nodded slowly. She wiped her face and squeezed his hand.

"Jack, could you go and get my things from my desk. I can't take the stares and the questions not now."

"Ok. Am I telling them or making something up?"

"Make something up." She said without even thinking about it. He nodded and smiled, getting up.

He walked into the bullpen and gathered up Sam's things. Vivian and Danny looked at each other and Martin looked at Jack curiously.

"What's going on Jack? Who was that with Samantha?"

"Uh, that was her mom. She's got some personal stuff to take care of so she's taking tomorrow off." Seeing their confused looks he stopped and turned to them. "Look guys, I'm sure she'll tell you when she's ready. Right now she just needs some time."

He nodded at them and took her stuff back to his office. She put her coat on and turned around to see him putting his on too.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm driving you home." He said, in a voice that was taking no arguments to the contrary.

She nodded gratefully and walked out in front of him. She felt everyone's eyes on her but she didn't look back and stepped into the elevator.

As they stepped out into the garage he put his hand on the small of her back to support her. She shut her eyes at his touch and walked a little closer to him that she should have. She didn't care. She needed him and he was there for her. That was it.

He dropped her outside her building after a journey of comfortable silence. As she watched him pull away from the kerb her heart sank like a stone in her chest. She climbed the stairs to her apartment feeling empty. She wanted him to stay with her and talk to her. Just hearing his voice calmed her down and made her feel so wanted and important. Now looking around her empty apartment with her mother's revelation pressing on her, she couldn't have felt more alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Later as Jack cleaned up after dinner he sighed for the millionth time. He tried, unsuccessfully not to think about her but failed miserably. She was in everything around him. So he decided just to bite the bullet. As he stood in front of the door he bit his lip. If she wants me to come in she'll say come in and if she doesn't she'll just tell me to get lost; he thought to himself.

She bounded to the door praying for company in any form. It appeared in front of her in the best form.

"Hey! Come on in."

He puffed out a breath, seeing her smiling face and came inside.

"How are you doing?" He asked flopping down on the sofa.

"I don't really know." She said, her mood dropping as he knew he wanted to talk about her father.

She curled up beside him, once again a little closer than she should have. By the relaxed look on his face he wasn't minding it.

"I mean, on the one hand he's my father. Mom's right you know whatever else he may have done to us, he's my blood. I am curious as to why he left, where he's been, who he's been with? You know?"

He nodded softly, hanging on her every word.

"But then I think, twenty years and nothing. He missed the most important things in my life and never even called once. And thinking about that I just can't bring myself to see him or to listen to any excuse he might try and give me."

A tear fell down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly. He held her other hand tightly, knowing she had something else to say.

"Most of all, I'm scared that I'll go in there and see him and not be mad. That all my anger towards him will die as soon as I see him. I might start to love him."

She collapsed in sobs on Jack's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"That would okay Sam. It's okay to love him, yes you're mad at him and you have every right to be but I'll bet there hasn't a second since the day he left that he hasn't driven himself crazy thinking about you."

She shut her eyes and buried her face in his shirt. She held onto him tightly, afraid to loosen her grip in case he'd leave.

A long time later he lifted her from the sofa as she lay sleeping on his shoulder, having tired herself out with the effort of crying. Gently he laid her on the bed and covered her with the sheet. As he turned to walk away he felt her grab his hand. Turning to face her, she said,

"Jack…..will you stay with me? Just lie beside me, please?"

He hesitated but softened when he saw the need in her eyes. As he crawled up beside her he wasn't sure if it was him she wanted or just someone. However, as she pulled his arm over her and snuggled into his chest he decided that he didn't care. Whichever one it was he was lying next to the woman he loved.

The next morning she woke up around 9am to the sound of her cell phone. As she felt around for it with her eyes half open as she realised that Jack had gone. She shut her eyes as his scent lingered on the pillow. Hugging it to her she found her phone.

"Hello?"

"Samantha?"

"Hey mom. Sorry, I know I was supposed to call you last night but a friend came over."

She said sitting up and rubbing her face.

"That's alright dear; would that be a male friend? Handsome, with dark features?"

"Look, don't give me that when I'm not even awake alright? I am ill equipped to defend myself. Do you want to meet for breakfast?"

"Yes, that would be nice."

"I'll come by your hotel and pick you up." She shut her cell phone and went into the bathroom. She'd never told her mother about Jack. The fact that her mother figured it all out by spending only a few minutes in his company the day before made Samantha laugh. Was she that transparent? As she looked at herself in the mirror she nodded in defeat. When it came to Jack she was.

She sighed, thinking back to last night. He had been in her bed with his arm around her. It was definitely among some of their best nights together. Of course their best nights had been when they made love. As she walked along she shook her head, trying to rid herself of those thoughts. The last thing she needed was to be bombarded with images of her and Jack having torrid sex when her mother was across the table.

As she munched her way through the huge cooked breakfast she had ordered, her mother watched in awe.

"Why are you so thin?"

"Mom, I don't eat this every morning you know. This is a special treat for me."

The two women shared a smile and Samantha was suddenly glad to see her mother. As much as she hated to admit it, now she was in her thirties she was beginning to have a new found respect for the woman she had put through so much in her teen years.

"So, I'm going to the hospital this afternoon before my flight."

Samantha put her fork down.

"So he's better? Or is he dead?" She said, instantly regretting it.

Luckily her mother ignored that last comment and said,

"He's doing much better. Samantha I want you to know that your father and I have made our peace. I've seen all I want to see so I'm going home."

Samantha nodded and looked out the window.

"Are you coming with me?"

Still looking out the window, Samantha shook her head.

Her mother knew better than to push her headstrong daughter and instead went back to her coffee. They walked back to the hotel arm in arm. Samantha was eager to hold on to her as much as possible. Amanda was surprised at the physical contact. Over the years their relationship hadn't exactly been touchy feely. Standing on the steps of the hotel she turned to her daughter.

"Do you want me to come to the airport with you later?" Samantha asked, squinting against the sunlight.

"No sweetie, I'm just going to go straight from the hospital. You enjoy your day off. I'm guessing it's the first one you've had in quite a while." She said knowingly; pulling her daughter into a hug that was more relaxed than the first one they had shared in Jack's office. Pulling back and looking at her she sighed.

"I love you." She rubbed her cheek and Samantha held her hand momentarily.

"Love you too." Watching her mother go inside she felt torn in two.

Jack leaned back in his chair and sighed. It was strange to be in work and not see her. Shutting his eyes he thought back to those days she had spent in the hospital after she'd been shot. He hated seeing her desk empty and had missed her terribly.

"Am I disturbing you?" A gentle female voice said.

Opening his eyes, he immediately jumped up and moved around to take Amanda's hand.

"No, not at all but I gave Samantha the day off." He said, confused.

"I know, I actually came to see you if you have the time?" She said carefully.

He nodded and motioned for her to sit down on the couch. Sitting beside her he tried to read from her face what was going on, like he could so easily read from her daughter's; but she gave nothing away.

"Jack, I need to ask you a favour. I know I may be going on a very large presumption here but…"

She thought for a second.

"A while ago, Samantha was involved with a man who pretty much changed her life. It ended as abruptly as it seemed to start and she never told me the particulars or even his name."

Jack bowed his head, giving himself away.

"Meeting you yesterday confirmed what I had always suspected. It was you, wasn't it?"

He nodded, not looking directly at her. She smiled briefly that her instincts had been right.

"Well, as that man, I know that you know her better than anyone; probably even better than me and that you can get through to her. Jack I need you to convince her to see her father; just once. If she doesn't she'll regret it forever and I know him. If she doesn't come to see him now, he'll take the hint and never try to contact her again and I don't want her to miss her chance with him. Do you understand?" She said urgently.

This time he did look at her.

"I don't know if I can but I'll certainly try. She's never spoken much about her dad to me but I do know that she's torn about what to do. I'll lay the ground work but you know she has to make up her own mind. Nobody ever forced Samantha Spade to do anything."

They both smiled. Amanda stood up.

"Well that, I'm afraid, she gets from me."

He got up and took her hand.

"It's definitely one of her more attractive personality traits." He smiled, leading her out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright so this is what I affectionately call the love scene chapter. Sorry to spoil it for those of you who didn't see it coming a mile away but it had to happen at some point. It's not going to set the world on fire but please do tell me what you think. I'd love some constructive criticism.**

Chapter 4

That night Jack knocked on her door at around 9pm. As he waited for her to open it he knew he was behaving badly; leaving work to be with her, holding her when she cried and now turning up at her apartment unannounced. But he couldn't help it. He felt an overwhelming need to be with her.

"Hi Jack. Come on in." She smiled at him happily.

As they sat down together, Jack suddenly decided to just have it out with her.

"Listen Sam, about last night."

She knew he'd want to analyze what happened to death but she didn't. She nodded and took a breath.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just felt so lost, you know and you were here, like you always seem to be when I need you. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." She looked down at the floor; afraid to let him look into her eyes because they would betray her deepest feelings.

He frowned as she babbled. She thought he was uncomfortable? He shook his head and took her hand. It was warm and soft and it fitted inside his own hand perfectly.

"Sam, I wasn't uncomfortable. I'm not uncomfortable." He lifted her head gently and looked her directly in the eye to affirm what he was saying.

A warm tear fell down her cheek and he wiped it away. Keeping his hand on her face he stroked her cheek gently and she shut her eyes at his touch. She gave up. There was nothing to keep them from each other anymore. No wife, no kids, no Martin; only a job that she now realised she would walk away from if he asked her to. Nothing else to do except be together and she would not let him leave the apartment without him knowing how she felt.

Opening her eyes she shifted closer to him. She lifted her own hand, which was shaking and put it on his cheek. His face was warm and just a little bit rough; day old stubble on it that had never bothered her.

"I don't know if we should do this again but all I know is I've never stopped loving you and try as I might I can't get over you or us. And I'm sick and tired of everyone else deciding what is best for us."

He nodded as she spoke identifying with her every word.

"I know how you feel." He said, moving his hand back into her hair.

She tried to speak again but he put his finger to her lips.

"I'm tired of analysing this. The fact is, I still love you too."

She shut her eyes in relief at his declaration and the next thing she felt were his lips on hers. A soft moan escaped from her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He turned his body so that she was now leaning back on the sofa and he was slightly on top of her. His hands were still in her hair as he tried to reconnect with everything he had ever loved about her. It all came flooding back to him in an instant.

He moved his hands down and ran them up and down the side of her body. All she was wearing was a tank top and pyjama bottoms and it was driving him crazy. She ran her hands over his chest and felt his heart beating strongly under his shirt. He broke the kiss and stood up, pulling her with him.

At last he could hold onto all of her and he walked her back against the window. The curtains were drawn and a soft noise came from her as her back hit them. He kissed along her jaw line and down her neck to her shoulders, leaving small hickeys as he went. Pulling him closer to her she wrapped her leg around him, keeping him where he was. Again she moaned and he suddenly realised were she was standing. With concern he straightened up and said breathlessly,

"Are you ok? You're not getting cold are you?"

She looked deep into his eyes and shook her head slowly. She almost laughed. It would take more than a cool window to remove this heat from her. She pulled his face back to hers and kissed him passionately. It was his turn to groan as she pulled his shirt out from the waistband of his pants and ran her warm hands lightly up his back. She began to unbutton his shirt and as he put his hands on hers she noticed they were shaking.

She looked up at him, searching his eyes for anything that said he wanted to stop. Hearing her unspoken question he whispered,

"Aren't you nervous? It's been so long, so much has happened."

She continued to unbutton his shirt and when she'd finished she pulled the sides of his shirt towards her so that his chest was touching hers.

"I was before, but I'm not now. This is what I want; you are what I want."

She slid his shirt off his shoulders and ran her hands down his arms. He tugged at the waistband of her top and she lifted her arms up as he pulled it up over her head. He threw it over his shoulder and sighed as he took in the sight he hadn't seen for a long time.

Feeling his excitement grow against her she took his hand and pulled him towards the bedroom. Not that he needed much encouragement. On the way he discarded his shoes and socks to speed up the process a little.

He stood behind her at the bed, kissing her neck as he ran his hands down to the waistband of her pyjama bottoms. Tugging on them lightly, he was kind of asking for permission. She put her hands on top of his and eased them down her legs. She stepped out of them and turned to face him. He gathered her up in his arms and began kissing her again, laying her down on the bed.

He crawled up on top of her and moved down her body, determined to kiss every inch of her so that he could never forget how it made him feel again.

She gripped the sheets with one hand whilst the other held his hand. She breathed his name,

"Jack." She said it softly over and over again before he finally pushed her over the edge.

He smiled against her leg as he kissed all around her thighs and then her knees as her breathing evened out. He had missed that little sound she made. As she reached for him, he got up and stepped out of his pants. As he went to bend down again he straightened up as if he'd just remembered something. Slightly alarmed she sat up on her elbows, feeling suddenly vulnerable as she was lying totally naked before a man who seemed to be changing his mind.

"What?" She said softly.

He held up his hand and fished his wallet out of his pants. He looked through it and then smiling triumphantly he held up what he'd been looking for.

She smiled and shook her head as she realised he'd been looking for a condom. As he put it on she said,

"Thank God, I thought you were going to leave me hanging there for a minute." She laughed nervously.

He crawled up on her, pulling the sheet over them both and smiled at her, taking her hand.

"Are you kidding me? I couldn't get that excited and then just leave. I'm not as young as I used to be!"

She smiled and put her hands on his back, pulling her into him.

"You know what they say? You're as young as the girl you feel. That right about now makes you a healthy and vivacious 30 year old."

"Cool, but you forgot sexy and seductive." He said, kissing her. His tongue searched her mouth hungrily and she thought she would climax just from the way he was kissing her and rolling his hips at the same time.

She broke away and lifted her body up to his silently saying she was ready. She slid her hand between them and gently guided him inside of her. As she let go and gripped his back again they both let out moans as he began to move. She shut her eyes at what he was doing to her but as soon as she did he said,

"Baby, look at me."

When she did it seemed as if the whole world around them began to slow down. Completely synchronised they climaxed together saying each other's name and holding on tightly as the feeling subsided. He went to roll off her but she held onto him.

"Aren't I crushing you?"

"No, I've missed the feeling of you on top of me. It makes me feel safe and protected."

He understood what she meant and smiled; stroking her face gently as their breathing returned to normal. She ran her hand through his hair and their eyes never moved from each other. Finally he moved to her side and pulled her up alongside him. She rubbed her hand along his chest and stopped it over his heart. She lifted herself up and planted sweet kisses on the spot were she felt it beat.

He shut his eyes in complete satisfaction. That had been so much more intense and amazing that it had ever been before. As she settled against him she sighed and said,

"I love you."

Smiling with his eyes still shut he said, "I love you too." He pulled her tightly to him and they slowly fell asleep.

**Cringe! Was that bad? Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

He woke her up the next morning by placing sweet kisses all over her face. She looked at the clock to see that it was only 7am. Frowning at him she hugged him close and said,

"Jack, it's only 7, on Saturday!" She exclaimed as he continued to kiss her neck.

"Yeah well, I couldn't wait anymore. I've been awake for an hour."

She rolled them over so that she was on top of him.

"Ok, I'm awake." She kissed him firmly and then broke away laughing.

"I see I'm not the only one who is ….alert?"

He laughed and shrugged. "Hey, when Jack junior's up, he's up."

She couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"What?"

"I forgot that you called him Jack junior." She narrowed her eyes and began to disappear under the covers.

Jack raised his eyebrows as he lost sight of her.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to say hi to Jack junior." Came her muffled reply.

As they ate breakfast they stole glances at each other every once in a while, completely content with the situation. They retreated back to bed soon after and Jack suddenly remembered the mission he'd been given the day before. Propping himself up on his elbow he began to draw imaginary circles on her bare stomach. Biting his lip he looked up at her.

"You know, your mom came to see me yesterday."

Opening her eyes at his statement she looked at him curiously.

"She did? Charmed her too huh?" She smiled, knowing her mother and the way her mind worked too well to ask what they had spoken about.

Smiling as he continued he said,

"She wants you to go and see you dad. Make your peace with him before it's too late."

She rolled her eyes and turned over on her side, unwilling to hear this from Jack of all people.

He hung his head and moved closer to her, draping his arm around her which she clung onto tightly and shifted back so that he was cuddling her.

"Look baby, I know how you feel. Spending my entire life with my dad hasn't made us exactly close either. I just know that you'll always wonder what he was like and what his reasons were. What if he disappears again or worse? What if he dies? I love you and I don't want you to get hurt but I don't want to see this haunt you by for the rest of your life. This way even if you never see him again, at least you'll know."

He felt her tears fall on his arm and he held her tightly.

"Will you come with me?" She whispered.

"You know I will."

She turned around and snuggled in against his chest, allowing him to put his other around her too. He was like a force field around her keeping her safe from anyone or anything that meant her harm.

Later whilst Jack went home to get some change and pick up some things she retrieved a shoebox from the very back of her closet and sat cross legged on her bedroom floor. She hadn't looked in this box for a long time, evident by the layers of dust on it. She frowned, unsure of whether to open it or put it back but eventually she opened it. She gingerly lifted some things out of it.

It was full of photographs and keepsakes from her childhood. One she was looking for in particular. She looked at it and couldn't help but smile at the memories it evoked. Looking through it she lost all track of time and before she knew it Jack appeared in the doorway looking casual and handsome.

He smiled at her.

"You ready?"

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. He helped her up and she grabbed her jacket and keys.

Taking her hand he led her on and he didn't let go of it until they were at the nurses' station. He decided to let her take things from there.

"Adam Spade's room please?" Her legs felt like jelly as she leaned on the counter.

The nurse looked down her list and asked without looking up,

"Are you a relative?"

Samantha took a deep breath and replied,

"I'm his daughter." She said, not knowing where to look after saying that out loud for probably the first time ever.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The nurse looked up and smiled. "Come this way sweetheart."

She lookedanxiously over her shoulderat Jack.

"I'll be right here." He smiled encouragingly as she followed the nurse down the hallway.

Before they got to the door, Samantha hung back and asked the nurse,

"Um, look I haven't seen him in a long time. What exactly is wrong with him?"

The nurse nodded and said, "He had a heart attack about a week ago. He's stable again but obviously it was a warning for him to start taking better care of himself. He should be free to go in another week. The doctor wants to monitor his progress closely in the mean time."

Samantha nodded taking deep breaths. The nurse put her arm around her briefly.

"Don't worry dear. He'll be fine." She gestured to the door and walked back down the hallway again.

Samantha put her hand to the door and felt like she was going to be sick. As she slowly opened it she could hear the constant beep of his heart monitor. Jack watched her as she disappeared into the room and he took a seat in the waiting area. He could feel his heart being tugged on as he could only imagine what it must have taken for her to come here.

She was taken aback as she looked around at all the machinery that surrounded her father. She was no stranger to this kind of scene but somehow when it was someone she knew she was more affected by it. She stayed at the end of his bed and laid eyes on her father. It was the first time she had seen him since she had watched him wave to her as he had driven to the store for milk and never came back. She had just turned eight.

He looked just the same, she thought. His hair now had little speckles of grey and white through it and he had lost some weight butit was him alright. As his eyes opened she recognised them too. They were hers.

He focused on her and stared at her for a few moments before whispering,

"Samantha?" His voice was cracked and he put his hand to his throat.

She walked forward and poured him a glass of water. Handing it to him she stepped back as he drank. Her face was blank. She had no idea what to say to this man. She kept her mouth shut. She was afraid to open it and yell at him.

"Samantha, you're beautiful. Your mother showed me a picture of you but it was taken a few years ago. I always imagined you'd be tall like me." He smiled, looking her up and down, unable to take her in.

She looked at the floor, unsure how to respond. Sensing her anxiety he sat up a little and said,

"Please come and sit down, I know this is very hard for you."

"That's an understatement." She said, finally speaking.

"Wow, the look you just gave me was straight from your mother." He said smiling nervously.

She raised her eyebrows and looked up at him.

"So, yourmother didn't tell me much. What are you doing with yourself?"

"I'm with the FBI, the missing persons unit."

He sat back and looked impressed. He searched her face for something deeper than just small talk but she didn't have the strength for that just yet.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'd like a cigarette but I think I've seen the last of them." He said, trying to lighten the mood.

She remembered him smoking on the porch. The way he held it and the way he used to blow smoke rings into the air.

"I guess you have questions." He sighed, looking anywhere but her face.

"Just a few; well, just the one really."

He nodded and took another sip of his water.

"Ah, you mean the sixty four thousand dollar question." He said as he looked around the room.

"If you're going to just give me an excuse then don't bother. I didn't come here for that."

She got up and went over to the window looking out on everyone going about their lives below.

"You're so grown up. I'm sorry but they're all I have. A million of them I've conjured in my mind over the years to escape the one simple fact."

"Which is?" She said crossing her arms.

"I have no real reason for leaving or staying away. That to me is shameful and sounds completely absurd but it's the truth."

She looked at him, trying to figure him out. "I'm listening."

"Your mom and I grew up together, we were the same. We got married and worked hard. We bought a house and then you came along. We had everything we ever wanted. Everything our parents never had at our age and we spent everyday making plans for you."

He shook his head.

"Day after day was the same. I should have been happy, God knows I tried to tell myself I was. I don't know I just found it so hard to breathe for some reason. That night that I left, your mother asked me to go to the store for milk and I drove away from the house. As I drove to the store I found myself driving past it and out of town. I drove until I ran out of gas and I felt free."

A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly.

"That's pathetic. Where have you been?" She said, her face turning to stone.

"I've been all over. I came to New York a year ago. I was working construction until I got sick."

"You have insurance then?"

He appeared to get insulted by that.

"That's what you think? I want your money? I want your mother's money?"

"Well what the hell else am I supposed to think? You leave us without a word. We get a letter consisting of about three lines a week later after mom had filed a missing person's report. You humiliated and devastated us and now you're talking to us because you're sick and you feel bad? You make me sick."

She was crying now but she didn't care. She had been waiting a lifetime to tell him this and he was going to listen.

"I have built myself a life in New York and mom has built herself a life that doesn't include you. Now you're back to screw around with us. Don't you have any shame?"

She fished the photograph out of her pocket and handed it to him. As she walked to the door she turned and said,

"You see that? Those people in that photograph are dead. I used to look at that and make myself believe that there was a perfectly logical reason why you had left and you'd be back for me someday. I built you up to be beyond everyone else on this earth. All the birthday wishes I wasted praying that one of the cards I'd get would be from you. When all the time you were somewhere else trying your best to forget about me."

She shook her head and gripped the door handle. Turning back to see tears falling down his cheeks she said bitterly,

"You know what Dad? The dream was so much better than the reality."


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry it's taken me so long to update but I've had a major case of writer's block with this one. You guys have given me some great ideas about how to further the story though so I'll try to get a good ending going I promise!**

**Just to warn you there's a little bit of sexual content in this one but nothing major. I'm having a hard time with the whole rating thing. **

She shut the door behind her and walked towards Jack. He rose when he saw her and sighed as he saw she was crying. He put his arm around her and led her out. She cried all the way home and Jack did his best to soothe her until eventually she just didn't have any tears left.

She told him what had been said and he listened patiently. A little while later she went to sleep and he wrote her a note,

Sam,

Had some things to do, didn't want to wake you. I'll be back in a few hours with dinner.

I love you,

Jack x

He smiled as he wrote I love you and sighed as he placed it on the pillow beside her. He leaned over her and kissed her, gently rubbing his own cheek against hers. He headed back to the hospital, he knew she'd be mad at him but he also knew he couldn't let her father disappear again without them making things right.

He could have been sick as he looked at the door to his room. He took a deep breath, not sure if this was the right thing to do or not.

"Can I help you?" Adam Spade said wearily.

He was different to what Jack had expected him to be having never seen a picture of him but as soon as he opened his eyes Jack recognised them immediately. They were the same eyes Jack got lost in on a daily basis. Jack could tell he'd been crying and he suspected he knew why. Moving towards him he wrung his hands nervously.

"Um, my name is Jack Malone. I work with Samantha."

Adam's eyes lit up at the mention of his daughter's name. "Samantha?"

Jack nodded and motioned to the chair beside the bed looking for an invitation to sit. This would take a while. Adam nodded and shifted so that he could see him better.

"Well, actually, the truth is…..I'm in love with your daughter." He smiled and looked down at the floor, feeling silly about the butterflies in his stomachwhen he admitted out loudthat he loved her.

"I know that what happened between the two of you today was probably not how you'd planned your reunion and I also know that she feels the same way. I know that kids don't always understand the things that their parents do and it's hard to explain it to them." Jack was now acutely aware that he was babbling but as he looked at the man who held Samantha's entire future happiness in his hands he softened. The look on his face was tender and wistful.

"Do you have children Jack? You sound like you're talking from experience."

"Two daughters. They recently moved to Chicago with my ex wife."

Adam Spade nodded knowingly at him, noting the pain on Jack's face as he spoke.

"That's why I'm here. I know what is to be separated from my children and ache for them. What happened today was just 20 years of anger being vented. She'll calm down, I know her and then she'll really want to talk to you. But please give her the time she needs."

"Why are you doing this Jack?" He said, looking curiously at him.

"Because I promised her mother I'd do my best to make sure she'd come see you."

"You persuaded her?" Adam said in surprise. He was sure that the manner in which Samantha left the room before suggested that she wouldn't be coming back for anyone.

"I may have given her the final push but I'm also doing it because I want to have a future with her and I want her to look back on her life and be proud of the choices she made. I don't want her to be full of regret."

Adam nodded and smiled at him.

"You seem to be an honourable man Jack."

Upon hearing this Jack shook his head and looked down at the ground, taking a deep breath he admitted,

"I'm no hero and I've made mistakes, especially with Samantha but for some reason she's given me another chance and I know she'll do the same for you. Probably not before a little more gentle persuasion from me."

"How much do you love her?"

"I love her enough to give my life for her in a heartbeat if I knew she'd be safe."

"Well then, I'm glad that she's got one man in her life that will never let her down again." Adam said looking away in defeat.

Jack got up and extended his hand to Adam who grasped it as firmly as he could.

"Maybe in a little while she'll have two of them." He said smiling.

Samantha read Jack's note and smiled as she got up and went into the bathroom. She turned on the light and rolled her eyes at the sight of her face in the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. As she splashed cold water on her face she realised that she'd never cried like that before in her life and she felt slightly embarrassed that she'd done it in front of Jack.

But she shook her head as she thought back to how tightly he had held onto her. She knew he didn't care and she suspected that he just wanted to hold her tight and she definitely did not have a problem with that. As she stood in a daydream, Jack came home, setting a pizza box down on the table he hung up his coat.

He just managed to do that as Samantha came bounding up to him and jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist tightly. He grunted as he tried to take the weight of his leg but he didn't care. He'd take the pain for her.

"Hey baby!" She exclaimed, grinning as he giggled and patted her backside.

"Hey!" He bounced her up and down a few times and she giggled. Leaning back against the door he kissed her. She returned his kiss hungrily and he walked forward laying her down on the floor. This wasn't really in his plan but if she was going to take him on a little detour that was fine by him.

Keeping her legs wrapped around his waist she groaned as she felt that how hard he was. She released him from her grip and put her legs down as he lay on top of her, kissing her neck and shoulders. She shifted slightly and he moaned loudly as she teased him with her leg. He gently slid his hands all over her, finally concentrating on her breasts as she gently stroked his erection over his pants.

"Oh baby." He growled as she smiled.

She looked into his eyes seductively and said, "Bed."

That was all he needed as he scooped her up to her original position and carried on kissing her as he took her to bed.

Later as they lay together in silence Jack decided that it was now or never. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before blurting out,

"I went to see your father today."

She sat up immediately in disbelief. As she looked back at him her eyes flashed with rage.

"You did what? Jack I can't believe this. I trusted you." She got up and pulled the sheet with her, leaving Jack naked on the bed.

He got up and pulled his boxers and a t-shirt on, following her into the living room. As he did, he felt mad. Grabbing her arm roughly he spun her around to face him so that he could look in her eyes.

"Listen to me, I did it for you. You will never forgive yourself if you don't sort things out with this man here and now because trust me it will be too late soon. You didn't even give him a chance and you know it."

Samantha struggled under his grip and answered angrily.

"Don't turn what's going on between me and my father as a chance to fix whatever mistakes you made with your own kids."

Jack suddenly let her go and stood back stunned.

Samantha turned away from him and shut her eyes, instantly regretting what she'd just said. Jack realised that she'd said it to deflect attention away from her own feelings but it hurt nonetheless. He shook his head and went into the bedroom.

She sat down on the sofa and sighed. She should never have said that to him and she knew it. Seconds later Jack came out, fully dressed and his face was red. She guessed that it was from a mixture of anger and tears.

"I'm sorry Jack but spending ten minutes with the new and improved Adam Spade doesn't make you an expert on him." She said softly as her eyes pleaded with him to stay. But he brushed her aside and opened the door. Looking back at her he said bitterly,

"Well you know what? Spending 10 years with him didn't make you one either." He slammed the door behind him as she sank to the floor and sobbed helplessly.

**So, any ideas as to where I go from here? All suggestions gratefully received!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Little bit of Sam/Danny friendship in this one. I love Danny, why can't he get a nice girl?**

Samantha sat with her back to the wall staring at the door that Jack had almost taken off its hinges when he'd slammed it an hour before. Her eyes moved to the pizza he'd brought for them. It would be stone cold now, not that she was in the mood to eat.

How could she have messed things up so badly she thought to herself? Jack had always maintained that he was the one who made the mistakes but surely nothing he'd done to her could've topped what she had just said to him. It escaped from her mouth so easily that it scared her. She thought back to what her mother had said to her some years before.

She had retreated to her when her three month old marriage fell apart. She didn't want to but she had no one else. Samantha said terrible things to her the last time she'd left but Amanda let her in without question and held her daughter for hours in her arms that night. Samantha wondered out loud why she found it so easy to say such hurtful things to her mother.

Her mother answered wisely and simply.

"We always hurt the ones we love the most because they know us the best."

Samantha shut her eyes at the soft tone of her mother's voice in her mind. As she opened them again a tear escaped and she hugged her knees up close to her chest.

Jack was the person who had always been there for her. He never judged, he was always patient and kind and more importantly he loved her completely. As she was now calm she realised that he had only tried to help her. He knew better than anyone how her father must be feeling.

She got up and lifted the phone. Dialling the number, her hands shook as she brought the phone up to her ear. Someone answered and she said,

"Could I speak to someone on the cardiac unit please?"

She listened to the tinny hold music for a second before hearing a tired voice say,

"Cardiac unit; Mary speaking."

"Hello, I wanted to check on Adam Spade's progress please?"

"Are you a relative?"

"I'm his daughter." As she imagined the nurse looking through the imaginary list she was surprised at how easily she could now say that sentence when it used to stick in her throat.

"He's resting comfortably now. Whoever visited him earlier seems to have cheered him up a little bit. Would you like me to put you through?"

"Oh no, I won't disturb him when he's resting. Thank you."

Samantha sighed as she hung up. Was there anyone on this earth that Jack couldn't charm?

Jack dropped his keys on the table and sank into the sofa without turning the light on. His stomach growled when he remembered the uneaten pizza but he couldn't have eaten anything.

What Samantha said had stung him deeply. Mostly because he knew deep down it was the truth. He did try to fix everyone else's problems as some kind of sub conscious rehabilitation for himself. But she was wrong about one thing. He had done it mainly out of love for her.

He smiled wryly as he pictured her eyes burning a whole in his head. She was sexy when she was angry but she could cut like a blade. He got up and poured himself a glass of Jack Daniels. Sipping it slowly he shook his head, silently cursing himself for walking out like that.

He realised that he was afraid. He was afraid to fight with her or upset her. He wondered when that had happened. With her he could always be straight and up front but tonight for some reason that had changed. He looked out of the window onto the street below. He realised that for the last two days he'd been walking on broken glass around her. Shaking his head he thought deeply as to why.

Then it hit him. He had never seen her like this; needy, clingy and in need of his protection. It had always been him who had sought those things from her. She was his escape and now the roles had been reversed. Her father coming back had made her retreat to this side of herself that Jack had never seen and it was making him treat her differently. It's why she put her defences up around him and responded so scathingly when he'd admitted he'd seen her father.

She didn't like Jack seeing her that way or treating her differently. He wasn't doing it intentionally but now he shook his head as he realised how easily he'd gone into over protective hyper drive.

As she dressed she thought about going over to his place and apologising but her pride stopped her. She didn't want to look into his eyes and see the hurt that she had caused to the man she loved. As it turns out a knock at the door saved her the trouble of worrying about it.

She nervously looked through the peep hole and couldn't help but smile as she saw the man on the other side. She flung open the door,

"Hey peaches!" Danny exclaimed as he came in uninvited proceeding to drop his leather jacket on the chair and flop down on the sofa. She smiled as she shut the door and sat down.

"So what's with all the cloak and dagger personal stuff huh? Are you pregnant with sextuplets or something?"

She smiled and wrinkled up her nose.

"I don't think so. Sorry I just lit out on you guys like that but I had some stuff to deal with and I couldn't take the "what's going on" questions."

"Ahh. You didn't get these from Jack?"

She looked down and he nodded at her knowingly.

"Look, don't worry about it. We just wanted to know if we could help but we knew you'd ask us eventually if you needed it. Anyway, I thought that we'd discuss your problems over a glass of orange juice what do you say?" He said smiling broadly.

"Will milk do? I don't have any orange juice."

He nodded and settled back on the sofa as she brought them in two glasses of milk.

Handing him a glass she said, "If you knew I'd ask then why are you here?"

"The curiosity is killing me. Spill it sister."

She proceeded to tell him all about her father coming back and her conversation with him. She left out the parts with Jack which left a pretty big hole in her story that she knew Danny could fit his head through.

"So, that doesn't explain why your bed isn't made at 7pm and you've been crying and…..why Jack's wallet is on the counter."

She shut her eyes. When she opened them they came to rest on the leather wallet sitting beside the cold pizza with the initials J.M.M. facing upwards. Danny sat forward a little and took her hand lightly.

"Are you guys on again?"

She nodded and filled in the blanks of her story for him. He sat back and thought for a while.

"I didn't know if you knew all about us the first time?" She said quietly, not looking at him.

"Just because I look stupid doesn't mean I am."

"I don't think you're stupid." She said quickly. He held up his hand to soothe her.

"I just figured it was your business and there was plenty of other people who where going to interfere. So, I kept my mouth shut and figured that if either one of you ever wanted to talk about it then you would."

She shook her head and squeezed his hand.

"You're the best friend I've ever had Danny." She said tearfully. He smiled and sat down beside her folding her into his arms gently.

"When did I become so needy?" She exclaimed. "All I've done since Dad resurfaced is sob onto men's shoulders! Where did my guts go?" She was disgusted with herself.

"Pal, they got ripped out when you're Dad came back. It's ok to lean on people that care about you, you know." He said soothingly.

She pulled back from him and nodded as he gave her a Kleenex to wipe away her tears.

"Do you think he'll forgive me?" She said, dabbing at her eyes. Danny thought about which man she meant and then gave her an answer to cover both

"Your father? Of course and you'll forgive him in time as well. As for Jack, there's nothing he wouldn't do for you sweetie. We've all known that from day one."

He smiled and hugged her again. As she held onto Danny it became clear what she had to do now. She had to make things right with the two people she loved the most before she lost them forever.


	9. Chapter 9

Danny left Samantha's apartment and sighed heavily. He loved Samantha and Jack way too much to see them both go through this pain.

The next day at work Samantha stepped out of the elevator anxiously. Where would he be; in his office or the bullpen? She regretted not going to see him last night but she figured that they both needed the space. As she passed his office, he stepped out and almost knocked her over. He looked shocked but then his face went blank.

"Good morning Samantha." He walked on and she could have sank to her knees and cried.

As he gave them their briefing on the new case she looked at the table the whole time. Handing out assignments he realised he had shot himself in the foot as the only two left to go on a long drive upstate was him and Samantha. She shot him a quick look as he announced that they'd be leaving right away. Vivian eyed their interaction carefully. As they went their separate ways, Danny gave her shoulder a squeeze in support. He motioned her over to his desk away from everyone else and said quietly,

"Don't worry about Viv and Martin, I told them all about your dad."

Samantha's eyes widened at him so he continued.

"Don't worry; I left out the Jack part!"

She breathed a sigh of relief as he shook his head.

As she left, Martin came up to her cautiously. They were just getting back to being friends again after a hard break up.

"Samantha? Danny told us about your dad and we just want you to know that we're here for you if you need us."

She broke into a warm smile and touched his arm briefly.

"Thanks Martin, I appreciate that. Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys myself but I was just so shocked you know?"

"I understand. I'll see you later. Hope you have a nice journey. Jack sure seems pissed about something." He said light heartedly as he walked away.

She turned on her heels and looked up to the heavens. God save me from this car journey, she prayed silently. The first fifteen minutes in the car were completely silent. Just the occasional long sigh from one of them and it was agony. Finally, Samantha couldn't take it anymore.

"I have your wallet in my bag. I didn't want to say anything before but you left it at my apartment last night."

He nodded and without looking at her said,

"Thank you."

"Jack, come on!" She said, exasperated with the cold shoulder.

"What?"

"Look I'm sorry about what I said, I can't even begin to describe how completely thoughtless and cruel I was to say such a thing."

He swallowed and glanced briefly at her.

"Well, I'm not going to pretend it didn't hurt Sam." He said softly.

She shut her eyes briefly when he called her Sam. She could see light at the end of the tunnel.

"I'm going to go and see my Dad again tonight. You were right about that. He deserves another chance." She said, looking out of the window.

"So do you." He said, grasping her hand tightly. She laid her other hand on top of his and stroked it gently.

"Listen Sam, I don't regret what happened between us the other night. I want us to be together but I think you need to sort things out with your dad first. Starting up again in the middle of an emotional crisis wasn't the best idea."

She nodded slowly.

"We still need to talk about a lot of things. I'm here for you when you're ready."

As Samantha packed up her things that night in the office she noticed her hands were shaking slightly at the prospect of seeing her father once again.

Adam Spade lay in his hospital bed and sighed heavily. His breathing had been laboured today and it didn't help that he could do nothing but think about Samantha. He had been filled with so much hope when she had came to see him. Not that he blamed her for yelling at him but it had still hurt.

As he looked at the photograph that she'd left him he smiled thinking back to those days. He knew he could never get them back but if she would only come to see him again he would spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to her.

"Hi."

He looked up and saw her standing half in and half out of the doorway. She looked like she was trying to decide whether to come in or bolt.

"Hello. Are you coming in?"

She shrugged, rooted to the spot.

"Will you come in if I promise not to be so pathetic this time?"

She smiled and looked down at her feet, wiling them to move on. She sat down in the chair beside his bed.

"I've been thinking a lot about the questions you asked me."

"Dad…."

He exhaled as he heard her say that word. He decided not to make anything of it in case it scared her away.

"No. I was fifteen when I started dating your mother. I was nineteen when I married her and I was twenty one when you were born. I have to tell you that those are ridiculous ages to be getting married and starting a family. Then a few months before I left I had a sort of epiphany. I was almost thirty, doing a job that I hated and living with a woman that I didn't love anymore. The only thing I had was you but I couldn't take you away from your mother."

He sighed as she listened intently.

"I decided to go away and get some perspective. I never intended to go so far. I called the house a million times but hung up as soon as it started to ring. As I'd been gone for longer and longer I realised that it was too late to go back. I burned too many bridges. So I just kept going."

She nodded.

"Well, that I can understand. The need for space; I guess I get that from you."

He smiled at her warmly.

"So, this Jack guy; are you in love with him?"

"Yep, have been for about 3 years I guess. He was married with two children and we had an affair. I mean I could dress it up and say that his marriage was over or that we really loved each other but the real God's honest truth is that we had an affair. He went back to his wife and tried to make things work for the girls but it ended for good a while ago. Since then I've just been waiting for him to tell me he wanted me again. I can be strong dad, but Jack Malone makes me weaker than I've ever been." She said tearfully.

He looked at her hand. It was in reach but he was afraid to hold it. He made a choice and reached for it anyway. She tensed at first but then held onto it for dear life.

"That's what love is sweetheart."

He looked at her carefully and decided to tell her something that could really upset her.

"Samantha I want to tell you something. Your mother doesn't know. About a year after I left, I met a woman named Angela. She was amazing. We lived together for fifteen years. Never felt the need to get married I guess. She knew all about my past and she was so accepting."

Samantha breathed an inward sigh of relief. She wasn't mad as he thought she might be. She had hoped that he had spent those years with someone. That he hadn't just been drifting alone. His eyes became misty as he spoke.

"She died of cancer seven years ago. That's why I'm so glad that you have found a love that you can believe in. Because eventually I did and I know how precious that is."

Samantha became tearful at the sight of him upset and she got up. Holding onto his hand she perched on the side of the bed and hugged him as best she could.

"Oh sweetheart you don't know how much I've wanted to hold you in my arms like this. I'm so sorry that I let you down. You and your mother deserved so much more than what I left you with."

She pulled back but still held onto him. Looking into his eyes she said,

"Dad, I wouldn't change my past for anything. Because everything I've been through has taken me to this moment. And even though I'm crying, I'm probably the happiest I've ever been. I have you back, I have mom and I have a wonderful man who loves me in Jack. Those are things I didn't think I would have not so long ago."

He pulled her to him again and then held each other quietly for a long time.

Finally she pulled away and said,

"I know we can't fix things over night but I want you to know that I really want to give us a chance. I've missed you and I think that there are still good times to be had."

"I agree." He said, stroking her cheek softly as she smiled at him.

"So, do you like being in the FBI?"

She took a breath. That answer used to come easily to her but this time it seemed to stick in her throat. After a second she said,

"Yeah, it's still good." She said not quite believing it and her father not quite believing her either.

She stayed and talked with her father until visiting hours were over. She tucked him in and kissed him goodnight. She left him to drift off to sleep and he felt like the king of the world.

As she walked home it was preying on her mind about how long it took her to answer him. She realised that deep down she now knew that her job was the only barrier left between her and the love of her life. She wondered how easy it had become to disconnect herself from something she had wanted so much.

She went into the park and sat down on the nearest bench. Across from her she watched a family walk together. There was a small boy walking with his father and the mother was carrying a new born baby in one of those slings. They were laughing and the father scooped up his son and put his arm around his wife, kissing her tenderly.

Samantha looked away and smiled. She realised that was what she wanted. Not chasing criminals, not getting shot and certainly not being separated from Jack by a job. She made up her mind to resign. She had no idea what she was going to do instead but somehow it didn't matter.

It was going to take a big change for the two of them to be together and she was going to be the one to make it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it took so long to update. Hada slight backlash from you guys about Sam resigning! Anyway, had to really think about what they would do now. There has to be a change but who will make it?**

Jack opened a beer as he sank down on the couch. He looked up at the clock. It was a little after 9pm and he was wondering when he'd hear from Samantha. He was worried about putting so much stock into this relationship so early on but he couldn't help it. He had some big news for her too. He wasn't sure what she'd say but he knew that he was happy about it.

He took a long sip of his beer as he realised that when he told her this news that he'd been so excited about, it would be the biggest test of their time together. Now he was dreading that knock on his door.

She walked slowly to his apartment and suddenly she began to get cold feet. She was panicking about the huge decision she had just made. She was going to put herself on the line for him. How did she know that he would do the same? She go so strung out over him the last time and look how that ended up. Why would this time be any different?

She stopped in the middle of the street and sighed heavily. She didn't know. She didn't have all the answers but she knew that she never would have them. She had to go on faith. That he loved her and that he'd respect and support her decision. There would probably be a little negotiation in there somewhere but she could live with that. She was tired of letting things come between her and what she wanted.

Although as she climbed the steps to his door she realised that mostly the only thing standing between her and the things she wanted was herself.

He almost jumped out of his own skin when he heard her knock on the door.

"Hey." He said smiling as he let her in.

She smiled and waited for him to shut the door before reaching up to hug him tightly. He sighed into her hair and rubbed her back gently. She pulled back and took his hand, leading him to the sofa. Her face was full of purpose and he could tell she had something to say. He guessed it was about her dad.

"So did you go and see your dad?"

She frowned slightly and got up. He had interrupted her train of thought. She paced and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Yeah, I saw him. It was ok, you know, we talked. I didn't yell. It's a miracle I know." She said holding her hands up to him and he smiled. He wasn't going to disagree with her on that one.

"He's getting sicker you know. I spoke to the doctor and he said he's definitely going to need a by-pass now. That's going to be tough on him. He's going to need me and I want to be there for him, amazingly enough. I know it's going to be hard but …."

She trailed off and walked over to the window. Looking up at the full moon she said softly,

"I used to think the man in the moon watched over me." He smiled at her as she continued.

"I had this book….I can't remember what it was called but it was about how the man in the moon watched over a little girl who had no parents. I used to pretend that he was watching me. I'd talk to him and tell him all my deepest feelings."

Jack turned his head and looked at her with sad eyes.

"When dad left I stopped talking to him. I didn't believe in him anymore because if he was watching over me then how come he just let dad leave. That was an eight year olds logic anyway. But then I met you."

She took a deep breath and looked up at him.

"You made me believe in him again because you watched over me and later, you loved me. That sounds stupid but it was like he gave someone to me to make up for dad leaving."

She began to sob and Jack moved forward putting his arms around her.

"Shh, it's ok Sam. You know I won't leave you again. You know."

She hung onto him tightly and buried her face into his neck. Yes she knew. She knew by the way he was holding her now but still she couldn't shake the image of that red truck driving down the road and out of her life. He gently pulled her back so that he could look at her.

"Sam, I have something to tell you. Sit down with me."

She wiped away her tears and sat down. She guessed then that she wasn't the only one who had made some kind of decision. She was hoping that it was along the same lines as her own. She eyed him carefully and tried to read his face but he was giving nothing away as he took a deep breath.

"Sam, I got a job offer today."

When she didn't say anything he went on.

"It's something I've never thought about but I think it could be great for me. For us."

"What is it?" She finally asked.

As he spoke he watched her eyes widen; he tried to read them and repeated over and over again in his mind,

"Just don't say no, just don't say no."

As Samantha looked into his eyes through her own tears she knew that there was only one possible answer that she could give him.

**Ok I totally need your help. Whatdoyou thinkJack's job offer is? I have one idea but I don't think you'll like it. Please give me some good ideas and I promise I'll give you a good ending!**


End file.
